Fear. Insecurity. Insufficient. Mistrust. Sadness. Sorrow. Doubt. Unsatisfactory. Reservation.
Those are quite painful words, right? Those are some of the emotions I have felt over the past year. This writing journey has been difficult, but it has also been spectacular. I know at times, for me, it has been hard. When less-than-ideal things happen, it is difficult to focus on the good. This is something that I am working on every day, taking one step closer to seeing the positive and being less of a pessimist.
To understand, I am going to give you a bit of insight into the path that I have traveled on. Imagine having an idea. You’ve had it for some time, one that is a bit much to some, and you finally have the courage to share it. It’s something you have prepared years before, but have not had enough faith in to stake. Then you decide to take a chance. Life is about taking them, right? No one ever really wants to live with the “what ifs”. I know I don’t. So you do it, and bare your ideas and plans that have literally taken months, perhaps years, of planning.
Then the anxiety comes. You second guess your actions, knowing it may not be a good idea to all. You worry about pleasing everyone. Then the criticism. Oh God. That is expected of course, but not the kind that is straight up disheartening and cruel. You then live with more “what ifs”. What if I never decided to do this? What if I just kept going on and didn’t share this dream? What if I never took this chance?
Happiness. Contentment. Joy. Bravery. Dreams. Love. Elation. Courage. Satisfaction. Peace.
Incredible words, right? Those are also sentiments I have felt along this journey as well. I need to remind myself often that we live in a world of imperfection and heartache, but also a world where goodness can pervade the gloom. Don’t get me wrong, this existence isn’t one where we should live through rose colored glasses, rather it’s a place where we need to remind ourselves of the beauty and delight that surrounds us.
I have been fortunate to experience all of those emotions and more. It hasn’t been easy. I am flawed and sometimes need reassurance, but this path that I chose, one where I took a chance and bared my dreams for the world to see (or not), has superseded anything I could ever ask for. I have been blessed to meet many spectacular people along the way, including fellow authors, poets, readers, and all-around badass individuals.
I’ve come to realize that anyone who is reaching for the stars carries these same emotions, both good and bad. We are human, after all, but it’s the uplifting moments in time that truly replace the wicked ones. I want to dedicate this post to all those fellow hopeless dreamers out there. May you run, jump, trudge, and climb towards your dream, no matter what it is. It takes valor and dedication to do so, and I admire all those that do.
I also want to take a moment to thank a few special people in my life that have stood by my side. A week from today, I will be releasing my third book of The Sorrow Series. And for the first time in nearly two years, I am proud of myself, recognizing what I have done is really something whether I sell one copy or a thousand, I will remain humble and gracious for all those that have taken time to read the stories that I have created. Tales that are graphic and raw, but they are also beautifully tragic and real.
To my family, from my mother and step-father, siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins… I love you all to the moon and back. You’ve always loved me for me.
To my dear friends at home, you know who you are.
To the talented scribes I have met along the way, I am honored to know you all. I hope you continue to tell fabulous stories, because you too, are amazing.
To the bloggers that have taken a chance, and most of all time, to read my work and promote it to their audience, I am indebted to you all. You have spread the word and recommended my tales to literature-lovers.
To the group of ladies that have become lifelong friends, you know who you are. You have lifted me up when I have been down, and most of all… you have given me real friendship, something that is few and far between in life.
Finally, to my readers. My humbled heart swells with gratitude for your belief in my series.
Shadows of Scars and Sorrow, Book Two of The Sorrow Series goes live on Amazon on February 28, 2014.